Feature image SEANMUNDY
I’ve done something really bad.
But it is done, so I may as well tell you what I did.
It all started two weeks ago when I dropped my son off at daycare. I left him in the capable arms of a kind woman.This kind woman cares for my son every Wednesday, and every Wednesday when I go to pick him up, I’m reassured he had the happiest, most wonderful day ever.
But two weeks ago, when I picked him up from daycare, my son was sick.
In what could only be described as a Poonami (Thank you Mander!) I spent the next week cleaning sheets, changing nappies, wiping up vomit and holding him close as he struggled with a tummy bug. He was sad, a little clingy and lost weight.
What I didn’t do, however, was take any of my medication.
A whole week. I just forgot.
I’ve been taking it every day for more than 8 years, and then suddenly I forgot. My body is addicted to it. My doctors are petrified about what would happen if I were to stop suddenly.
And then I did.
When I realized what I’d done I rushed to my medication and grabbed a glass of water, ready to take the tablet. Then something stopped me. What if I didn’t take it? What if I went just a little longer?
I had come this far, what was the harm in pushing it out a little longer?
I felt ok, I hadn’t had any terrible bruising. I wasn’t bleeding. I didn’t seem to be in adrenal failure. I was doing ok. I held the little tablet in my hand and wondered…
I knew my body needed a break from the medication, everyone agreed with that. But everyone was concerned about what would happen. It was too risky, my doctors told me. I also knew pregnancy and hormonal changes can have a huge effect on autoimmune disorders.
I decided I would wait another week. I needed a blood test and a plan. I went to the blood test centre (What are they called? Collection place?) to check my platelets.
In two weeks, without taking anything, my platelets have fallen from 52 to 41. Not bad really…
Tomorrow I have an appointment with my doctor to confess what I’ve done and have another platelet count. I’ll let you know how it goes.